


Crazy in Love

by LizaCameron



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-27
Updated: 2004-03-27
Packaged: 2019-05-30 13:28:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15097640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizaCameron/pseuds/LizaCameron
Summary: Josh is driven even farther towards the edge of insanity by visions of his assistant donning sexy black lingerie in preparation for kinky sex with an unworthy Republican gomer.





	Crazy in Love

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

 

 

 

**Crazy in Love**

**by: Liza C.**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna, Toby, CJ, Charlie  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance, Humor  
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything; this is for fun and no money. Beta'ed by Kim.  
**Summary:** Josh is driven even farther towards the edge of insanity by visions of his assistant donning sexy black lingerie in preparation for kinky sex with an unworthy Republican gomer.  
**Author's Note:** You say bad Three's Company rip-off. I say art. But then again I also thought Three's Company was art...

~WEDNESDAY 6:25pm~

Donna, disappointed that her plans for the evening had gone awry and resigned to another night spent helping Josh bone up on the finer points of urban waste management, was meandering through the bullpen when she heard a thud followed by a disquieting crash come from the general vicinity of the Communication Director's office.

A certain amount of chaos was common in the West Wing of the White House. After all it housed the Office of the President and bustled with his dedicate and energetic staff, but today there were visitors who were lending a decidedly uncommon element of chaos with their presence.

Toby Ziegler a grumpy, impatient and some might even say sad guy had taken to fatherhood in a natural way that he would never have imagined himself capable. He usually enjoyed it and actually, so far, wasn't horrible at it. Even so he still couldn't have imagined a day when he would have been on the file strewn floor of his White House office, hands and knees on the ground, rear end in the air, trying to coax his infant son out from under his desk, while his daughter used his legs as a rudimentary jungle gym... yet that day had arrived.

When Donna arrived on the scene she tried, absolutely unsuccessful of

course, to stifle a laugh. She dubiously inspecting the damage before asking, "Is everything okay in here?"

"Does it look like everything is okay?" He muttered rhetorically while trying to keep his son from putting some filthy foreign object he'd found under the desk, into his mouth.

She answered anyway, "No, actually, it looks like you've got your hands full." Once again she tried not to laugh, once again she failed.

"Yes, Yes, I do." He muttered.

"So these files all over the floor must have been the crash I heard?" She questioned.

"I hit my head on the desk and it maybe knocked some files over the side..." He grunted while hauling himself back to a sitting position.

"Anything I can do to help?"

"No, I don't think so."

"You sure?" She asked, as she stooped down and picked up Molly from the floor and automatically started bouncing her on one hip. "Toby, seriously what's going on, where's Andi?"

"Andi is on a plane bound for God knows where. She dropped the twins off on the way to the airport and then the Nanny was supposed to pick them up here. Well now the Nanny can't pick them up because her idiotic excuse for a boyfriend wrecked his motorcycle. He's only broken... some body part, but she won't leave the hospital..." Toby paused for a moment and lightened the tone of his voice slightly, "No, Huck I do not want to play with Clifford the Big Red Dog right now... "

He looked back up at Donna exasperated, "I've got to finish the President's address to the U.N. and show him a draft tonight because, as you know, he addresses the U.N. tomorrow. Andrea's parents are on vacation in..." He looked back at his son who was still shoving the stuffed toy at him, "Okay, Hi Clifford, yes hello no why don't you play with Huck..." Toby grabbed Huck and pulled him and the small stuffed red dog onto his lap before continuing, "They're vacationing in Barbados, her sister's away on business and I can't even get a hold of Andi to ask who else to call because she's... currently at a cruising altitude of 30,000 feet."

"Well for someone who doesn't need any help, you sure have a lot of problems Toby." Donna smiled at him after his diatribe ended.

He just stared up at her, completely wrung out, looking mighty pathetic.

"Toby, would you like me to watch the twins tonight while you finish the President's U.N. address?" She offered trying to keep her hair out of Molly's reach.

"No..." He shook his head, "I can't ask..." He stopped and looked at her, "Really? You could do that?"

"Sure, I'll just need a ponytail holder." She grinned, grabbing Molly's hand in hers.

"No, I mean you're sure you're free? You don't have to work?" Toby gave her a speculative look. She was always working; Josh usually kept her in the office until all hours and he didn't like to share when it came to Donna.

"Nope, he's over at Labor meeting with Kellner and he thinks I'm leaving early tonight anyway. I had plans to go out, but my friend Kelly just called, she's got that flu bug that's going around... which really bummed me out, because I was looking forward to, you know, getting away from this place for a night... well getting away from Josh really-" She stopped babbling at the confused, tired look on Toby's face and smiled as she shifted Molly to her other hip, "But on the bright side it does leave me free and able to help you out."

"Well maybe." He looked hopeful, but unsure whether he should take her up on it.

"Toby, seriously, I don't mind. It will be fun."

"Like you said they're a handful..." He questioned, taking her measure.

"Taking care of these little ones has got to be easier than taking care of Josh," She laughed. He gave her a small appreciative nod, before she continued; "Besides you happen to be looking at the busiest babysitter in all of Maple Bluff, Wisconsin circa 1989. And I'm used to twins. The people that lived next door had twin boys and if I could handle a set of 1-year olds when I was a teenager, I think I can handle them when I'm... well...let's just say older."

"Really, Donna, this is very nice of you. You're sure?"

"Yup." She looked at him thoughtfully, "How about this, It's 6:30 now, I just need to clear a couple of things off my desk, when I'm done why don't I drive the twins back to your place in your car... you've got car seats right?" He nodded. "And then you can bring my car when you're ready to come home tonight."

He sighed in relief, "You are a Godsend. I don't know how to thank you," Toby decided it was no wonder Josh relied on her for everything.

*******

Donna was at her desk pulling any and all files that she thought Josh could possibly want before the morning and getting ready to go back to Toby's office to collect her charges when her phone rang.

"Josh Lyman." She picked up the receiver.

"Donna?" The voice on the other end questioned.

"Yes?"

"Donna, Hi, its Andi Wyatt calling."

"Oh, Hi Andi, Toby said you were on a plane."

"I am, I just used the airfone to check in with him and he told me of our predicament. You are such a doll to do this, but are you sure it's okay?"

Just then Josh entered the bullpen and was surprised and happy to see that Donna was still there. He thought her plans must have fallen through and he was decidedly relieved. Even if she was just going out with a girlfriend, he didn't like the idea of her out and about in the D.C. bar scene. There were dangerous people out there and she was so friendly and open that he worried about her; actually he worried about more than just her safety, but he didn't like to admit that. She'd probably be disappointed if her plans had cancelled; he'd have to think of something to cheer her up...maybe he'd order Chinese. That would make her feel better, nothin' like sharing some Lo-Mein to lift the spirits.

Donna was seated at her desk now and as such she didn't see that Josh had returned from his meeting early. She didn't see him come up behind her. She didn't see that he was about to tap her on the shoulder to alert her to his presence and she certainly didn't see it when his hand stopped midair and he started listening to her telephone conversation.

"I promise you, tonight is going to be my pleasure." Josh was suddenly attentive; maybe her plans didn't fall through after all.

"No, I have lots of experience; I've been doing it since I was sixteen. You can rest assured I know what I'm doing." Sixteen? What kind of experience was she talking about, the only kind of experience he had heard her talk about involved Freddie Briggs and her first... NO! That couldn't possible be what she'd been doing since she was sixteen... could it?

"Don't worry about that, I don't expect you to feed me." She laughed. "It will be nice just to get a little affection." Josh looked at the back of her head in horror. Donna, his Donna, was planning a rendezvous with some louse and he wasn't even going to take her to dinner first... must be another Republican. Bastard!

"I used to do it for the twins that lived next door to me, Tim and Tom, I could tell you stories..." Josh put his hands over his ears and backed away. He couldn't stand hearing another word of Donna arranging to have some torrid sex romp with another gomer.

****

Josh had backed up so far he was now out of sight. When she hung up he took a deep breath and resisted the urge to go lose his lunch. After waiting for a couple of moments, during which he worked very hard at collecting himself, he took one final deep breath, willed himself to sound normal, bellowed her name and began his re-approach to her desk.

"Yes, Josh, I'm right here, no need to yell." She turned to face him, "How was your meeting?" He noticed that she glanced up at him with a curious expression like she cared how his meeting went, but he didn't buy it, it was clear that she was getting ready to leave.

He ignored her question, "So you're leaving?"

"Yes, I told you I had plans tonight and therefore would be leaving at an unprecedented early hour, remember?"

"Right, you have plans..." He nodded slowly.

"Yes, I do." She answered with a quick smile as she passed him on her way into his office. "So you're going to have to fend for yourself tonight. Here are some files that I thought you might need for the thing." She said as she set them on his desk.

He followed her into his office and leaned against the desk, "With Kelly, right?" He asked quietly, challenging her with the information she'd given him yesterday. He still felt nauseous, but thought he was doing an admirable job of hiding that fact from her.

"What?" She looked at him a bit astonished that he remembered who her plans were with. She briefly wondered where he was going with this and why he looked a little green. Silently she made a note not to let him eat the tuna salad in the mess anymore, out loud she said, "No, Kelly has the flu so I made new plans."

"New plans? What do you mean new plans?" He demanded. "I gave you the night off so that you could have plans with Kelly, not so that you could have new plans."

"Excuse me?" She asked as she turned to face him full on, eyes narrowed, her hands coming to rest defiantly on her hips. "Josh, it is none of your damn business what my plans are or who they are with!"

"It is if I give you time off for said plans!" He huffed. His anger, which was being fueled by a jealousy that he didn't understand and obviously couldn't control, was definitely clouding his thinking. "Donna we are doing critical work right now and we don't have time for you to be off gallivanting with some gomer."

"Some gomer?" She questioned, her voice sounding like it was being chilled in the depths of Siberia.

"You are going out on a date with one of your gomers tonight aren't you?" He asked; his ability to be rational slipping away with every passing moment.

She just stared at him; how dare he pull this crap with her! She couldn't remember being this angry at his meddling and there had been times when she'd been livid.

A normal boss would not have the right to question her personal life, period. That there was usually very little personal life to question was beside the point. She also knew that her relationship with Josh was not normal... in fact she would even admit to having twinges of jealousy herself at times. Of course, she wouldn't admit it to another living person, but she had grown to the point where she would at least admit it to herself.

She knew she'd done a lousy job of hiding her jealousy over the stargazing NASA Administrator and she knew he'd realized exactly how jealous she was. And she certainly remembered his reaction; he had loved every minute of her annoyance. He'd smirked at her and let her think that it might be romantic just to mess with her mind. Well as far as Donna was concerned, turn about was fair play. If he wanted to assume she had a date, she wouldn't disabuse him of the notion.

Or... she would willfully mislead him, "Yes, Josh, I have a date." He winced a little at the look on her face. He could tell by her blazing eyes alone how furious she was, never mind all the other subtle signs like the dangerous tone of her voice or the fact that she looked like she wanted to beat the crap out of him using his backpack as some sort of Medieval mace-like swinging weapon.

She continued heatedly, "But he's not a gomer, and I need to leave now or I'm going to be late for my... for my very important, very hot date." And with that she turned and stomped out of his office slamming his door closed with a startling force. Once at her desk she stopped to gather herself, desperately trying to calm down before heading over to pick up her dates for the evening.

****

Josh sat brooding at his desk for the better part of an hour. A sad lone man, being driven even farther towards the edge of insanity by visions of his assistant, who let's face it he had very un-assistant like feelings for, donning sexy black lingerie in preparation for kinky sex with some unworthy Republican gomer.

Of course, in truth, at that moment Donna was less donning sexy black lingerie for an illicit tryst and more trying to dodge the onslaught of smooshed pears and berries that were being flung at her in regular intervals by two future Democrats.

He was still cogent enough to realize that torturing his psyche with lusty images of Donna priming herself for sex with someone else, wasn't going to get him anywhere. What he needed was a game plan. It should be easy for him, he came up with them everyday. So he set his rather muddled mind to work on developing a plan to achieve his objective.

The objective was easy, stop Donna from having sexual relations with any and all gomers ever again. However, right now, he'd settle for stopping her tonight. Which, when put like that, was fairly easy to accomplish; he just needed to end the date. Come up with a way get her out of there before she did something she'd regret. Now all he had to do was invent some excuse that was both legitimate and compelling enough to make her forgo the sex and come back to him at work.

Problem was, considering her anger and the fight they'd just had, she might not believe he was calling her with a real emergency or worse she might not take his call at all. He rubbed his hands over his eyes; what did it say when one of the top political strategists in the country couldn't come up with one lousy stratagem to get his assistant to come back to work. Maybe he could have someone else call her, someone like Leo... no the President... Yes! He could have the President call her and tell her she was needed at the White House. Then she couldn't refuse.

On his way to have the leader of the free world call his assistant in order to interrupt her gomer sexcapade with a fake national emergency, Josh, thankfully, ran into Charlie outside the Oval Office. "Hey," Josh grumbled stopping by his desk, "Is the President free?"

"Nope, he's on a phone call with Tokyo and it might take awhile."

"Oh, I see." Josh said disappointed.

"Is it urgent? Do you want me to take a message in to him?" Charlie asked apprehensively looking over the pale, frazzled Deputy Chief of Staff. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine," He lied, "I was just hoping he'd help me with..." He trailed off as an idea began to form. Donna liked Charlie, she wasn't mad at Charlie and everyone knew Charlie was trustworthy, maybe she'd believe him, "Hey, Charlie, say I don't suppose you could call Donna and tell her that she needs to come back to work right away."

"What? Why?" He looked at him like he was crazy.

"Oh, I need her help on the... uh the looming garbage strikes along the eastern seaboard... you know if that happens it cripples the cities with... uh backed up garbage and the effects ripple across the nation... and uh you'd be surprised how important garbage is."

Charlie, who was used to seeing and hearing much stranger things than Josh Lyman babble about garbage, looked only mildly interested before asked, "Why don't you just call her yourself?"

"Well..." He stalled hoping for inspiration. He couldn't very well tell Charlie what he was really asking him to do; which, of course, was to sabotage his assistant's sex life.

"Is it really important enough to interrupt her at Toby's?" Charlie added.

"What?" Josh yelped.

"Yeah, I saw her awhile ago and she was headed over there. I know Toby was really happy about it. I don't think I've ever seen him smile like that."

"Toby's? She's at Toby's?" Josh was astonished and it showed.

"Yeah, I guess she really took pity on him." He laughed, "Anyway, if it's really an emergency, I'm sure you can reach her there."

"Sure," Josh started backing out of the room just hoping he could get out of there without falling down, it felt like the room was spinning. No, it felt like his entire world was spinning. However, before he could escape he backed straight into Margaret who had apparently been standing there for some time.

"You're looking for Donna?" Margaret inquired as he spun around to face her.

"Yeah, but..."

"She's probably at Toby's by now."

"What?" He tried to make his voice sound normal. "You know she's over there, too?"

"Well, sure, because I saw her leaving in his car earlier, when I was coming back from dinner."

"You saw Donna leave in Toby's car?" Now Josh's voice hit previously unexplored octaves.

"Yeah, and boy was Toby grateful. As soon as she said yes, I heard him ordering flowers for her."

Josh just stared at Margaret, the ability to speak having fully deserted him.

"So, Josh, if you *really* need her you could just call her at Toby's, right?"

Josh saw that both Charlie and Margaret were looking at him expectantly so he forced air through his diaphragm and prayed whatever came out was coherent, "Sure, I'll try her there." He backed away feeling like he'd taken a sucker punched to the stomach. Donna was with Toby. Donna was on a date with Toby. Donna was on a hot sex date with Toby!

****

Of course if he had just gone over to the Communication Director's closed door he would have found his friend and colleague hard at work on the UN speech and able to provide him with a plausible, reasonable explanation for everything. But he didn't, instead he hurried outside the White House to where Donna usually parked her car. Sure enough it was still there in its regular parking spot.

Donna was at Toby's; she'd left with him, gone to his house. Donna was on a date with Toby. Toby of all people... he might have, at one point, worried that some of the other guys in the West Wing might make a move on Donna. Guys like Ed, Larry and Joe or even Charlie or Sam, but not Toby, the idea of Toby with Donna simply never occurred to him. In a million years, he never would have thought that he had to worry about Toby making a move on his... on his Donna.

He stood slumped against her car for several minutes. Finally he took a deep breath and stood, he wasn't going to accept defeat, at least not without a battle. They didn't call him Bartlett's Pit Bull for nothing. Although, at the moment, quite frankly, he couldn't remember who called him that or why and he was out of ideas; what he needed was... reinforcements.

***********

"You look like hell there Josh. What's going on?" CJ gave him an alarmed look as he entered her office after rapping insistently on the door.

"Donna." He said flopping down on her couch.

"What about her?" She asked with some foreboding, she was never exactly sure what was going on with those two and she was pretty sure she didn't want to know.

"Toby." Josh answered glumly.

"What about him?" She asked now slightly more interested.

"Not him. Them." Josh scrubbed his hand through his hair.

"Seriously, Josh, what are you talking about? Because I haven't got a clue."

"Donna and Toby are on a date." He sighed.

"What?" CJ starred at him in disbelief, eyes wide, mouth hanging open.

When he saw he had her attention he added, "They are probably at his house right now having sex."

CJ was silent for a full five seconds before she erupted in great howls of laughter.

"CJ, it's not funny." Josh said quietly.

The sad earnest look on his face only served to fuel her mirth; she doubled over grabbing her stomach and tried to catch her breath.

"CJ!"

After a couple of minutes she fumbled with the Kleenex box on her desk trying to grab a tissue to wipe the moisture from her eyes, "Oh boy, thank you Josh, I can't remember the last time I laughed till I cried."

"CJ, I'm serious about this!" He said adamantly.

She looked at him and took in his obvious distress, "Oh, Josh, my friend, I knew it would happen, I didn't know when and I didn't know why... though I guess I always suspected it would have something to do with Donna."

"You knew Toby and Donna would happen?" Josh asked furiously.

"No!" CJ screeched, "You! You losing your ever loving mind. I knew you would lose your mind someday. I just can't believe it happened on my watch. I have to find Donna she'll know what to do." She started searching the cluttered desktop for her phone list.

"Are you listening to me CJ? She's with Toby. And I am not crazy!" Josh yelled.

"Josh, calm down, because you sound crazy and you're a little... wild-eyed..."

"I have evidence!" He interjected trying to make her understand.

"Okay, evidence, good I can work with that; tell me about the evidence Josh." CJ resigned herself to considering the lunacy of Toby and Donna together. Besides, she thought, it was probably a good idea to keep him talking.

"I heard Donna on the phone making an appointment for a... a sexual liaison!"

"Huh? What exactly did you hear?" She tried not to giggle at the absurd notion of sweet Donna arranging for a 'sexual liaison' while at work in the West Wing... Josh within earshot.

"I heard her laughing, telling him that she has a lot of experience since she's been doing *it* since she was sixteen, if you remember that is when she lost her virginity." He took a deep breath, "She said something about needing pleasure and affection and that he didn't even have to buy her dinner."

"That could mean anything Josh." CJ said not sounding as sure as she once had.

"What? What could it mean, CJ?"

"I... I don't know." CJ looked blankly at him, "But something, I'm sure."

"Well then, when she got off the phone, she admitted to me that she had a date with a gomer. Actually, she said emphatically he wasn't a gomer. But she said she had a date. Don't you see? Toby's not a gomer. He's a dead man, but he's not a gomer."

"Okay, so she has a date and is possibly planning to have some sort of physical relations with this... date." He audibly groaned and shut his eyes at CJ's words. She took pity, "I'm sorry Josh, but let's talk about Toby. Why do you think she's with Toby?"

"Well she left with him in his car and is now at his house!"

"That's crazy, how do you know that?" She quizzed.

"Both Charlie and Margaret told me."

"Really?" She said with a trace of surprised in her tone, "What did they say?"

"Margaret told me that she saw her drive off with Toby in his car."

"Hmm?" CJ asked thoughtfully, "Why would they drive off together?"

"Because they are going back to his place to have raunchy sex!" CJ just shook her head as he continued, "Charlie even asked me if I *really* wanted to interrupt them."

"What else?" She demanded.

"Charlie said that he'd never seen Toby smile so big and that Donna must have taken pity on him-"

"Pity?! Why would it be Donna taking pity on Toby?" CJ interrupted suddenly offended.

"CJ, you're missing the point." Josh replied annoyed.

"Toby is a good catch, what makes Donna so special? What, she's too good for Toby?"

Josh jumped in, "Hey, Donna is way out of Toby's league, she's beautiful and vibrant and intelligent and 20-years-younger than him I might add, besides which-"

"Donna would be lucky to get a Toby!" CJ interjected once more with a glare.

"Okay I think we're getting off track here." Josh grabbed a fistful of his own hair.

CJ took a deep breath, "Yes, you're right; this is ridiculous, because this isn't happening." She noticed the glower he was giving her. "What?"

"We have to do something!" He stood up and started pacing.

"What can we possibly do?"

"We need to go over there!" Josh looked at her with righteous anger.

"Let me rephrase, what can we possibly do that does not plunge us directly into an episode of I Love Lucy? In which trust me, you are most certainly Ethel."

"Seriously, you know that they will both regret this when they come to their senses. We need to stop them. We have to go over to Toby's right now and put an end to this!" He finished emphatically.

His confidence was impressive to CJ who was not quite as convinced that this was the right course of action, but she had to do something to placate him so she just nodded her assent. "For the record I think you are a lunatic that needs to get a grip on his out-of-control, but sort of sweet-in-an-inappropriate-way, feelings for his assistant. However, I will go with you to Toby's house, if for no other reason than to make sure you do not get into trouble."

"And because you're pissed that if Toby's dating someone in the West Wing, it's Donna and not you?"

CJ whipped around at him, "No. Well mostly no. No, what are you saying? Don't drag me into your dysfunctional neurosis. What I'm doing is saving you from yourself. Let's go." She grabbed her coat, but paused long enough to smack him on the back of the head as she passed through the door.

"Ouch! What was that for?" He asked reaching to rub the back of his head.

"For being stupid, now come on I'm driving."

***

Donna heard the doorbell ring and almost killed herself, or at least stubbed a toe, in her haste to get to the front of the house and stop it. Frantic, she wondered what kind of an idiot rang the doorbell. Didn't people know you never rang a doorbell when there were sleeping babies inside? She was in such a tizzy to stop the ringing before it woke the twins, whom she had just finally gotten to sleep, that she completely forgot that she was wet and naked.

She wasn't really completely naked. In all fairness she had just exited the shower and she wore a soft white towel wound strategically around her mid section. When she made it to the door she looked through the peephole and got the answer to what kind of an idiot rings the doorbell.

"Josh, what are you doing here?" She hissed at him when she opened the door. "Are you crazy? Seriously, Josh what the-" She stopped short when she saw he wasn't alone.

CJ stood just behind Josh in the entrance way and they both wore expressions of utter shock. Whatever they had expected to find at Toby's, a wet, mostly naked Donna answering the door certainly wasn't it. CJ's mouth was hanging open and she was shaking her head, stunned and dismayed.

"CJ?" Donna looked bewildered, "What are you doing here?"

"Um... well... um... Josh thought... and it looks like he was right... so we should leave... should we leave?" CJ fumbled. The usually articulate Press Secretary stood completely unable to take the reigns of her jumbled thoughts.

Donna moved out of the way of the door, "No it's fine, of course it's fine. Come in, just keep in down. I just got him to sleep." Molly had been easy, she'd drifted off right after her bath, but Huck had been more stubborn she'd had to rock him for half an hour before he went down.

Josh was already ashen and now that his greatest fear had been confirmed, he felt the blood drain though his body and was suddenly very afraid he might faint. "I need to sit down." He mumbled as he moved quickly past her into the living room.

"Josh, seriously, what are you doing here and why did you drag CJ over? We could have straightened out our uh... disagreement... tomorrow."

CJ just stood in the entryway unable to move. Josh was now sitting on the couch leaning over, his head between his knees.

Donna looked between them, completely unable to figure out what was wrong with either of her friends. When her gaze rested on Josh and she was able to study him for several seconds she became concerned. "Josh, what's wrong?" She crossed to where he sat on the couch and knelt beside him; the towel somehow still covering all of her assorted and sundry private parts. "Are you okay?"

He shook his head, which was still between his knees, "Not okay... nothing okay."

"Tell me what's wrong?" She asked anxiously. "What do you need? What can I do?" She reached out and touched the curls on the back of his head and he flinched.

"CJ, the kitchen, can you get Josh a glass of water." A moment later Donna looked up and the other woman was still standing there gapping. "CJ!" Please, Josh needs some water."

CJ shook it off, "Right, water, I'm on it."

Donna sat on the couch next to Josh and he leaned away from her. She put a hand on his back and was rubbing it soothingly when CJ arrived with the glass. "Josh sit up, can you drink some water?"

He sat up slowly and took the glass from her. He sipped the water as she continued to rub his back but he refused to look over at her. She asked still quite worried, "Is that better? How do you feel?"

"I don't think I'm going to faint anymore if that's what you mean." He said gruffly.

"Okay," She took the glass of water back from him. "What's going on? What's wrong with you? Both of you." She glanced at CJ questioningly.

CJ just stood in the doorway, silent, once again having no idea what to do or what to say.

Josh finally ventured a look at Donna who was still sitting next to him. She was still a bit wet with her hair plastered to her head, she was nearly naked and she looked absolutely... beautiful. Suddenly he didn't care what had happened with Toby, he wasn't giving her up that easily, "Donna I want you to know that it's not too late."

"What's not too late?" She looked at him strangely.

He grabbed her hand, "I'm saying that just because you had sex with Toby doesn't mean things have-"

"What?" She cut him off harshly.

He stared blankly at her.

"What did you just say?"

"Just that I don't care if you had sex with Toby, I can get over that-"

This time he was interrupted by an entire glass of water being tossed in his face.

"Hey!" Josh jumped up the second the cold liquid hit him, "Donna, what did you do that for?!" He demanded as tiny rivulets of water ran down his face. His blue dress shirt was stained with the offending moisture and became even more so as he used his sleeve to pat his face dry. Despite herself, Donna had to admit he looked awfully cute flustered and wet.

"You think I had sex with Toby?" She hissed trying to keep her voice quiet and trying not to think about how endearing he was sopping wet. She looked over at CJ, "Is that what you think too?"

CJ immediately back tracked, "Well, I didn't until you answer the door all... and then..." She trailed off.

"Josh," Donna stood up to face him, "Start talking!"

"Are you saying that you are not having sex with Toby?!" Josh felt optimistic for the first time since he'd considered ordering Chinese to cheer her up earlier in the night.

"Yes, let me clear that up right now, I am not having sex with Toby!" His lips quirked and he felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from his chest.

"You could do worse." CJ piped up. Josh and Donna both turned and glared at her.

Donna turned back to Josh, "You better talk fast and explain to me why you would think such a thing."

"Well you said you had a hot date tonight."

"So?" She asked angrily.

"Well I heard you talking on the phone about doing it since you we're 16 and I assumed you were talking about Freddie Briggs and then you talked about pleasure and Tim and Tom and needing affection. I thought you were arranging a rendezvous-"

"A rendezvous?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, a rendezvous and then you confirmed it by saying you had a hot date."

"I did." She fought a smile.

Josh took a breath before continuing. "Then Charlie said you were here and that you'd taken pity on Toby and that Toby was smiling and that I shouldn't interrupt you and that you'd left with Toby in his car...Where is he anyway?"

"Oh my lord." Donna nodded her head in disgust but couldn't stop the giggle that escaped from her throat.

"Donna, seriously what is going on!?" It was Josh's turn to be impatient. "Where is your date? Why are you here? Where is Toby? And why are you wet and naked?"

Donna looked down and realized in horror that she was still only wearing a towel, self- consciously she tried to wind it around her body even tighter. "Okay, this is me, once again, giving you a gift you don't deserve. My date*s* are upstairs. Their names are Huck and Molly Wyatt-Ziegler. I am here to baby-sit them. Toby is probably still cloistered in his office furiously working on the U.N. speech for tomorrow."

She took a deep breath, "And I am wet and naked because you try to feed two 11-month-old twins and see if you can do it without getting covered from head to toe in smooshed pears and berries." She sighed, "As soon as I got them to sleep, I jumped into the shower to wash my hair-" She stopped mid-sentence when she was interrupted by a loud, strangled, cackling noise from behind.

Donna turned, only to be confronted with the image of the White House Press Secretary slumped in an arm chair, violent laughter shaking her entire body. "CJ, shhh, please be quite, you really don't want to wake the babies," Donna pleaded.

CJ nodded into the leather of the chair and tried to laugh silently, but she continued to shake uncontrollably, tears of amusement streaming down her face.

Donna turned back to Josh and leveled a glare at his newly happy countenance. "What are you smiling about?" She poked him in the chest and his smile faded a bit, "How dare you interfere in my personal life! Again!" She continued to advance on him and he backed up until the back of his knees hit the couch. "It is none of your damn business who I sleep with!" She stated with quite fury. She was now inches from him and grabbed his arm, "I want to know what you have to say for yourself."

He gulped but managed to squeak out, "Donna you're naked and you're touching me and it's making it hard to concentrate on saying anything."

She looked down and blushed once again at her advanced state of undress. "Okay, I'm going to go change and then we are going to talk."

CJ was picking herself off the chair; her laughter almost subsided, as Donna started her ascent up the stairs, "Wait, Donna, I'm going to take off, I have to get back to the White House and, you know, spread this story around... can you give the boy wonder a ride home?" Donna came back down at the question.

She narrowed her eyes at Josh once again, "I guess."

CJ paused at the door and looked back and forth between the two of them before saying, "Oh and Josh, do us all a favor and figure this out would you?"

After CJ left Donna came all the way back down the stairs into the living room. She faced off with Josh, neither one speaking.

"How are you going to give me a ride home?" Josh finally broke the silence.

"What?" She couldn't believe that was the first thing he was going to say to her after everything that had just happened.

"Your car is still at the White House."

She sighed, "Yes, I took Toby's car because I had the twins and I needed the car seats. Toby is bringing my car when he comes home."

"Oh." Josh looked sheepish.

"Yes... oh."

Josh looked at the floor and then up at her again, chastened, "I guess I really messed up?"

"Yes, you did." She said still angry, but took an ounce of pity on him when he winced at her words. She crossed over to him and sat back down on the couch, grabbing his hand and pulling him down next to her. "What's going on Josh?

"Well..." He had no idea where to go with this one. This might be a hole that he had no chance to dig himself out of.

She gave him a few seconds before she prodded, "Why are you so jealous?"

"I am not jealous!" He insisted trying to look indignant.

"Josh, come on, you are jealous!" She narrowed her eyes. "Or you had better be jealous, because I really don't know what else, besides severe head trauma, could explain your behavior tonight."

With her hand still holding his he said quietly, "I'm sorry I got so crazy tonight."

"All of this," She gestured into the air with her free hand, "Was because you thought I was here having sex with Toby?"

He didn't say anything. She gazed up into his face; his hair was still slightly damp from the water she'd hurled at him earlier and there was a hint of terror in his brown eyes. She plowed ahead, "Josh, please tell me, why did you get so crazy about me going out on a date tonight?

He looked into her eyes and realized he had no choice but to tell the truth, "Because..." He paused to take in a calming breath and started again, "Because, Donna, I don't want you to go out on dates with anybody but me."

"Josh," She whispered softly; tenderness softening her features.

"Seriously, please, I don't know what I'm asking of you. I don't know what I'm admitting to you. I don't know what I'm ready to promise you; except to say that the idea of you with anyone, with any person that's not me, makes me crazy in a way that can not be good for society at large."

She sat a second, taking in what he'd just said and then shook her head from side to side, "No, Joshua." She reached up to gently cup his face for a brief moment and search his eyes, "That's not good enough." His whole body slumped, before she conceded, "But, I'm going to give you one more chance to try again. This might just be your last, so make it good."

Josh closed his eyes. What he did not know was what he was going to say. What he did know was that, whatever it was, he had to say it now. He opened his eyes, took her hand and brought the palm flat against his chest, right over his heart, "Do you feel that?" She nodded her affirmation as she felt his racing heartbeat. "You do that to me." She looked at him with bright eyes. "And it's not just because you're sitting next to me semi-wet and semi-naked," He said with a smile. He looked down at their hands on his chest, his covering hers, before returning his intense gaze to her eyes, "It's because I'm in love with you. I'm crazy in love with you and have been for a very long time."

Donna's heart flipped completely over in her chest. She stared at him and saw the absolute honesty written in his eyes. "Josh," she whispered and before she knew what she was doing she had leaned into him, melted into him really, her arms wrapping around his neck. He met her lips half way, but she teased him, slowly nipping at his lower lip before he was able to capture her lips fully with his own.

She moaned into his mouth and he smiled against hers. He licked the corner of her mouth before their tongues began to mingle in an intoxicating dance. He wrapped his one arm around her waist while the other caressed her bare shoulder. As their kiss grew more intense, he shifted her towards him and before either of them knew what was happening, she was sitting on his lap. Her towel, however, had not made the journey; it had fallen and was currently resting in a damp heap next to them.

So there they were; Donna curled sideways on her boss's lap, naked as the day she was born, the two of them kissing each other senseless.

"Um, Donna?" He murmured as she drug her tongue down under his chin and began to nibble on the side of his neck.

"Hmm?" She purred as he gently rubbed circles on to her bare back.

"You're naked." His voice squeaked slightly as she shifted in his lap hitting one very aroused, very sensitive spot.

"I know." She kissed her way up to his jaw. He could feel her bare breasts pushed against his chest. He instinctively tightened his grip around her, trying to shield her naked body with his arms.

"You're naked and we're making out in Toby's living room." He said right before she started teasing the sensitive spot behind his ear with her tongue and he lost all ability to speak or think for several languorous moments.

"We are." She took advantage of his state of silence by moving back to recapture his mouth in a mind blowing kiss, while slowly running her hands through his hair.

"Don't get me wrong." Josh moaned as Donna went back to nipping his ear with her teeth. "I like it a lot, in fact I don't think I've ever liked anything more, but I'm thinking..."

Josh's sentence turned into a moan and he was unable to finish the thought, as he felt Donna wiggle her naked bottom back and forth on his lap, her sex pressing on his arousal.

Donna giggled and finished for him, "You're thinking this might not be the time or the place... with Toby coming home and the babies upstairs..."

Josh's need was growing and he was more than enjoying Donna's movement against his groin, "Yeah, but we've already determined that I'm crazy... so we shouldn't pay attention to what I'm thinking... at least not for a few more minutes."

Donna sighed and pulled away from him slightly resting her forehead against the side of his face.

"Hey, I thought we had a few more minutes." He whined.

She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his temple before whispering, "I should definitely get dressed now."

"You've threatened to do that before."

"Yeah, but now it's time." Knowing she was right Josh grabbed the discarded towel from the couch and placed it protectively over her shoulders.

"Close your eyes." She said her voice husky.

"What?"

"Close your eyes, so I can get up."

"You've just been sitting on me naked, now you want me to close my eyes?" He couldn't hide his amusement.

"Yes. You don't get to fully see me naked until I get to see you naked."

"Really?" His dimples were out in full force.

"Yes, really, so close your eyes." Donna replied coyly.

He obeyed this time and immediately missed the warmth of her body when she was no longer pressed to his chest. Once Donna had disentangled from him, albeit reluctantly disentangled from him, she leaned over and kissed the side of his mouth before whispering, "I'll be right back."

"Wait... Donna," With his eyes still closed he pulled off his already loosened tie and nimbly began unbuttoning his blue dress shirt.

"What are you doing?" She asked nervously.

He shrugged out of it and held it up for her to take; he still had on one of the white cotton T-shirt that he usually wore under his clothing. "This is pretty much dry and I assume the shirt you were wearing earlier is covered in smooshed pears too."

"Smooshed pears AND berries." She corrected before responding softly, "Thanks." Her insides warmed at the intimacy of his gesture. Once she put it on she realized it smelled like him and she was pretty sure that if he ever wanted it back he was going to have to pry it out of her cold dead hands. "Okay, you can open your eyes." Judging from the look on his face when he opened his eyes he wasn't going to be asking for the shirt back.

He was in awe, Donatella Moss was standing there smiling sweetly at him wearing nothing but his shirt and it was the sexiest image he'd ever seen. "For the record I didn't want to... I don't want to stop. You know that right?"

"I know... me too." She smiled at his admission.

"And we are going to pick this naked thing up again... soon... very soon."

"Very soon," She promised as she started up the stairs. Halfway up, she paused, "Joshua."

"Yeah?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"For the record, I'm crazy in love with you too." She flashed him her brightest, most devastating smile before turning to run up the rest of the stairs.

If someone would have walked into the house at that moment they would have found one Josh Lyman, hard-nosed political operative-slash-Pit Bull, sprawled on the couch sporting the biggest, dopiest, happiest grin of his life. It was good to be crazy in love.


End file.
